July 25 - Saturday

Gratitude. That's what I feel. Whether it is for bloggers who show support and help me feel less isolated and remind me that even though we feel alone -we are not... or whether it is a passsage in a book that makes me connect with a powerful idea that changes my outlook. Being aware of the blessings that surround me is required for moving forward and resisting bitterness.
Reaching out becomes easier and puts things in a frame of reference that makes the crisis appear more manageable.
The past two days I have received calls from people I did not expect to hear from who said they had been thinking about me and we talked and talked. My crisis is small compared to the things that each of them face.
One just lost her husband to cancer last month and is left to be sole caretaker for a child they adopted who has Retts syndrome. The other has learned that her toddler son is autistic... and the older child has a rare developmental disorder that makes her require complete physical assistance.
Exceptional people face exceptional challenges and I can only hope and pray that I can be supportive and helpful.
Gratitude. I am aware that I am not facing anything that I cannot overcome and it will make me stronger and wiser.
The calls from 'out of the blue' prove to me that I am loved and have the ability to love and offer friendship to others... and this must continue to be a personal and professional commitment in my daily life. There will be people whom I have failed and have failed me but if reparations cannot be made then letting go and moving forward is all that is required. It is easy but I make it difficult. Clinging to the past prevents moving forward and slows recovery from painful life events.
I am giving thanks to my higher power and recognizing that the world may appear formidable and cold, but it is also beautiful and empowering. It is up to me how I spend moment to moment - moving forward or staying stuck with painful thoughts and feelings...